Cooper Harrison Loland Arrived

On August 18th, 9 PM and some change, Cooper arrived, healthy and kicking. The delivery was relatively easy, but of course that is easy for me to say. But definitely easier than both Christian and Alex. He is a little smaller than our previous other two, but length wise the same. He scored 90% in length and 50% in weight. But importantly, from a CML perspective, he is for all we can tell, a perfectly healthy Sprycel baby.

This is significant, in that there are not that many Sprycel babies, since the drug was only approved for usage in 2007 I believe, and the label still states that men (and women) should not have kids while on the drug. But working with my fantastic team at OHSU, this was ok'ed and planned. We never knew if we wanted another child, in fact, some days 2 very active boys seems too much, but once I reached a very stable low level CML (last 4 tests since Oct 10 have been weak positives), we made the decision that life isn't going to be put on hold.

On a different note, I just had my 2 year on Ariad, or Cycle 24 as they call it. Ariad goes by a 28 day month, so it's not a full 2 calender years. It's amazing how time has gone bye, I ran into Nancy, she is one of the nurses in charge at OHSU, and I got to talk to her at some length. She was the first nurse I had down there, the first day. The first day still rings loud and clear in my mind, the fear of taking a compound that hasn't been tested that much on humans, the anxiety of not knowing what it will do to you, an the fear of what it will do to you. Will it work, won't it work, and is all this for not...All history now, but reminds me that this is a life long journey. It was so nice to share what has been happening with Nancy, since she spent the entire first day with me, drawing blood every hour, and listening to my story. Walking through the halls down there, I realize that nurses are either amazing at remembering names, or they actually do take interest in patients. I had 3 nurses call me by my first name, just walking around. When I think back, I have spent a lot of time at OHSU over the past 2 years.

So while no results are back of course yet, other than my CBC's that are on the lower side of normal, I did learn that I am now going to start going to OHSU every 6 months instead of every 3. They still will require a biopsy since my abnormal chromosomes that have shown up in the past year, but if not for that I wouldn't even need a BMB. Maybe one day I will be completely boring, oh, that sounds nice...

9 Month Checkup (Post Ponatinib)

Wow, I can't believe it's been 9 months since I started the trial. A lot has happened recently. My doctor was offered a chair person at University of Utah, and I am very happy for him and the opportunity it gives him. The silver lining was that the replacement doctor is Dr. Mauro, someone who is equally recognized as one of the top world experts on CML and shares Dr. Deininger's increadible humanity. Dr. M treated me the first week down at OHSU, so it was an easy transition back to his care.

As much as I'd like to feel relaxed now that I reached CCR at 3 months and MMR at 6 months, waiting on results are surprisingly difficult. Unlike previous tests where I felt I had nothing to lose, now I feel that I have everything to lose. It's nerve wrecking to say the least.

So, down to the numbers. I am still Fish and Cytogenetic negative, and my PCR is 0.039% this time. Statistically that is roughly the same as my 0.066% 6 weeks ago, and my 0.036% from 3 months ago. Slow and stable.

Breaking the silence

I have heard from a few friends lately that they were wondering what was going on with me, based on the lack of postings on my site in the past few months. I have kept myself from posting anything trial related, which has limited my ability to share my CML journey. After I found my postings about personal thoughts regarding our 3 year old Christian posted verbatim on a Yahoo financial discussion group back in December, I felt a line had been crossed. All along my intent of the blog was simply to keep friends and family up to date on what was going on, as well as hopefully benefit others who are either starting their CML journey or at a crossroad. I have often found the advice and suggestions of patients and caregivers invaluable in evaluating my own predicament, as well as learning how to communicate with my own medical team. Knowing that what the difference between a lavender and green cap on a vial, has already once ensured that a PCR test wasn't missed, even though it was scheduled.

Disclaimer : If you are here looking for medical insight into helping you make a financial decision on the drug company Ariad, please keep the following in mind:

1) I have been, and still on 60 mg dosage. This is not what will most likely be FDA approved, so hence statistically I should be excluded from the sample that evaluates effectiveness of the drug.

2) I am a statistic of one. What works or doesn't work for me, may not translate to others.

I have become too painfully aware that there is no single medicine that works for everyone. There are people who Ariad doesn't work for, and I continue to pray that they find something , or if they have to go through a transplant, they are in the best possible medical hands and have faith to carry them through. All of us are one test away from a crossroad in our lives, so as CML patients, we're only as good/bad as our last test.

So what is happening with me? Well, I have been on 60 mg for more than 7 months now. I officially reached Major Molecular Response at my 6 month, and I achieved Complete Cytogenetic Response at my 3 month. I continue to maintain both MMR and CCR. Combined these are a major milestone with treatment of CML, so it has given us some breathing room. Officially my log reduction is 3.5. My white count that early on was in the 2k range, has been in the 3k range for the past 3 CBC's. My platelets are also in the 60 to 70k range. Everything is pretty stable, with no Grade 3 or Grade 4 side effects. The most inconvenient side effects are fatigue and some other minor ones. The fatigue is hard, given that I have a draining job at times, I am usually spent by the time the kids go to bed at night, and I'm lucky if I get a second wind. Unfortunately (or fortunate as it may be) I love my job and what I do, so I do pour a lot of myself into it, and can't even imagine slowing down, but I may try to take some personal days this summer just to give myself some days of rest.

Here is my log reduction timeline:

  

I am down to travelling once a month to OHSU in Portland, and I do one CBC a month here in Seattle. I do have to continue to have a Bone Marrow Biopsy (BMB) every 3 months per the trial protocol, but somehow they are getting easier and easier. It probably doesn't hurt that the last 2 times I have opted for drugs through an IV. If I wasn't in the trial and I had the results I have, I believe BMB would have gone down to every 6 months, and then yearly after that.

So if you are a patient or caregiver of someone with CML, then I want to share with you that there is hope out there. The progress that is being made in new drug therapies is amazing, and you will want to make sure that you consider all your options before making a decision. Transplant may still be a viable option for you, but for many others, there are new options out there that are worth considering.

With all that said, I want to call out that Tyler is still fighting the battle, harder than anyone I know. He finished his recent chemo therapy, and is now back on Tasignia. His white counts are coming up to reasonable levels, but they are still searching for the best solution out there for him. Please keep him in your prayers. If you already are not following his blog, here is a link to it.  http://bledsoebattle.blogspot.com/ 

Keep hope alive,

Hans

#1303 in Zavies Club (which you get when you're CCR).

Back and Public

I locked down the blog, but have decided to reverse the decision. I will defer from publishing any of my results on Ariad. GIven that people can have from a great response, to no response, it's safe to say I'm somewhere between those points. For now, it's a wait and see, all I can safely say is that I'm not any worse off.

 

For those looking to learn more about Ariad, please do contact me, while my results may not be typical, there are clearly people out there that are helped by the drug. I can also help anyone that is trying to learn more about trial procedure, it's been an interesting past 3 months. Thanks agains for the kind words of support

One year ago - December 3rd, 2008

Exactly one year ago, I learned that I was diagnosed with Leukemia. We didn't know at the time that it was CML, just that my white count was about 20 times what it was supposed to be. I spent some time today re-reading those e-mails from the first few days, and reliving those days. I'm not sure a professional would say that it's healthy or not to relive the darkest days of your life, but I felt it was important to understand where I was when I started this journey. I've always felt it was important to understand where you have been, before charting a course forward.

 

What sticks with me, was the incredible support and comfort I received from family, friends, co-workers those first few days and continue to this day. Our familes have stepped up to help in any way they can, and as I write this Cynthia's mother and aunt are staying with her, to help with the kids and anything else she needs, while I'm down in Portland. But the greatest impact to my current situation, is Cynthia giving me the space to get myself in a better place, and there when I needed someone to take over when I wasn't up for it. I think we have definately challanged the wedding vow that talked about in sickness and health.

 

So I ask myself, why even relive those painful moments in my past, and simply let history be ? In my case, it puts in perspective where I am now, and how much has happened since. The sky hasn't fallen, I'm not feeling ill, and Syracuse basketball is playing better than they have since 2003 when they won the National Championship. The point I am trying to make, is that life has continued, even improved in many ways. The arrival of our 2nd boy Alex has allowed us to rekindle the memories of lack of sleep and being thrown up on constantly. Christian at age 3 is allowing us to rediscover wonders all around us. Many times I wish I could see life as he sees it, I imagine that things are simple, and there is no fear in life (other than the monster in his room at times). But even then we overcome the monster by hiding under his Thomas blanket…We hide together, and we tell the monster to ‘go away’.

 

I’m feeling very educated about CML, since I have spent countless hours diving into as much information as I could gather. It’s difficult sometimes, since it’s not like I can buy a CML for dummies book at Amazon, or take at course to learn about this.  But knowledge has allowed me to take an active role in my treatment, and also be able to communicate with my doctor when needed.  I decided that I’m not settling on simply following the prescribed treatment, and being in the trial was due to reaching out and learning about other options. If it wasn’t for the trial drug, I would literally be in the midst of a transplant these days since that would be my only option. I have networked with other CML patients, and both found comfort in their stories, and in some case grief when the outcome was not positive. While Tyler is doing good, there are other friends who are worse off, so I don’t feel I can rest until we’re all out of the woods.

 

So I ask myself, where am I today ? Well, physically I am sitting down in Portland, part of the Ariad drug trial. I’m feeling great, and I’m anxiously waiting to see if the drug is working as hoped for. Compared to 3 or 6 months ago, I’m actually in a better place in that we now know that the first 2 generations of drugs, wouldn’t work since I acquired the T315 mutation. But that is all water under the bridge now. My backup plan (which was like Plan E when we started), is a bone marrow transplant, with my younger sister as a perfect match (10/10). I have to sometimes remind myself that I am only 3-4 weeks away from a transplant at any given time, so that I don’t get ahead of myself. One day I imagine I will feel differently, but for now, that is my monster in the room…

Dec 2nd - Cycle 2, Day 1 Ariad Trial

The trial works on a cycle (monthly) and a day offset of each day. So it's basically 4 week per cycle. Today is Day 1 of the 2nd cycle. It's an all day appointment, with various tests. I also got to see Dr. Deininger today, and Linda, his nurse. Both were so instrumental in getting me into the trial.

My platelets that I was most worried about are down to 52k today, from 56k on Wednesday last week, so they have definitely started to bottom out it appears. Dr. D had already contacted the drug company, to see if there wasn't room to keep me on the same dosage, even if my platelets fell below the 50k required in the protocol. Since I had been regular on 44k during my Sprycel months, he felt there was little risk to allow me to go as low as 30k. They agreed, and made it a discretionary decision by him. Since I have full faith in him, I have no problem following his guidance. The alternative would have been to lower my dosage until the platelets came back up, or put me on a brief drug vacation which is quite common on these types of drugs.

I also got to schedule my Seattle visits, which will start every other week beginning next week. So after I leave Portland on Thursday, it will be almost a whole 2 weeks before I come back down here. While Portland has been very good to me, I won't miss the drives and being away from home and the family. 

Otherwise, still feeling good on the drug, the plan is just to keep me on the current treatment plan, and wait and see. He is very pleased with my counts and condition, that's good enough for me.

Much to catch up on

So much has happened in the past week that I have to start at middle of next week, and go forward. I had left last entry that we were waiting on Insurance coverage to come through, and it got interesting from there.

Middle of last week, we got a preliminary denial from the insurance company, which at the time didn't seem to unreasonable given that we know that they do not cover Phase 1 trial drugs. We were told by OHSU that it is unfortunately common, and usually approved upon peer review. So my dr. at OHSU was going to talk to the medical director of my insurance company, Friday morning. As luck had it, it was the same time that I was scheduled for a transplant consultation at SCCA. This is being done to make sure that we proceed as far as possible with planning for the transplant, without actually doing one. The whole idea of the drug trial, is to hopefully finally get the results we are looking for from a single pill a day.

Cynthia had her blackberry with her into the meeting, and we knew an e-mail would be forthcoming. Towards the end of the meeting, we received word that we had been denied, even after the peer review. I think OHSU was simply floored, they had not experienced this before, and my participation was at risk to say the least. Literally when we walked out of the SCCA meeting, I was resigned that I was 3-4 weeks away from a transplant.

Now Cynthia has a more assertive approach to these things than me, and after some deliberation, we decided to reach out to OHSU and see if we could still enroll in the study, and pay our portion that the trial wouldn’t cover. We didn’t know the exact costs, but we knew that if we didn’t enroll on Friday, we would miss the window and have to possibly wait 1 more month, which did not seem like a good idea given that I am on no drugs at all….

OHSU did a quick check, and said that would be fine. Although I would need to get down to OHSU that afternoon, since there is a consent form that had to be signed in person with the Dr. he was going to be out of town the following week, so we looked at each other, and simply pointed the car south. We made Portland in a little more than 3 hours, which on a Friday afternoon is a small miracle.

When we got back, we knew that we had bought us some time. We were told there were other appeals avenues, but the problem we had was that I had to be enrolled on Friday, or wait. I reached out to a former manager at MS, who put me in touch with a Director in HR. I know realize how huge that was, since while we were sitting at OHSU on Monday, the nurse popped her head in and said that it was now approved and they were getting it in writing from the insurance company. I literally felt my shoulders drop 2 inches, due to the stress we were under.

So Monday turned out to be an all day screening day. Besides a blood pressure issue, I did very well, and the team understands that it’s stress/anxiety induced, but we are closely monitoring it.

 So today (Wednesday) I am literally sitting in the recliner at OHSU, with an IV hooked up to my arm so that they can take blood without poking me with another needle. I took my first dosage of 60 mg at 9:10, and I am getting blood draws very frequently. The last one today will be at 5:10.

I think in the last week, I lived through every possible roller coaster experience I could imagine. Through this all, I can’t express how much Cynthia has done, and made me able to do. I find that I lean on her more and more, since when it becomes overwhelming, she has the ability to see things clearer. We also have had incredible help from her mother and Aunt to help with the kids while I’m out of town.

Right now, it looks that I will be calling my address Portland for at least 10 days. I can’t go home this weekend which is a bummer, but I did bring my golf clubs, and my newly acquired Big Bertha driver from Brian. I plan to vent any frustrations over the past week, on some innocent range balls…